:
Weird Events and Statements

Everything seems to happen to Dan Rather. In his career he's been punched, mugged, threatened with a shotgun, tear gassed, even accused (by a communist newspaper in Afghanistan) of stoning people. In the above picture, Rather is being

Bizarre Quick Reference Election Night Texanisms 1968 Democratic Convention What's the Frequency, Kenneth? Dan Rather Superstar "Courage" Random Assaults Guns to the Rescue Drugs "Gunga Dan" Accused of Murder in Afghanistan Other Celebrities on Rather Female Troubles Weird Statements

surrounded by security guards at the 1968 Democratic National Convention. Right after the picture was taken, Rather was punched in the stomach and shoved to the ground. He was told to "get the hell out."

Besides the many physical attacks, he has a long history of making weird statements (known as "Texanisms, "Danisms" or "Ratherisms" depending upon whom you ask) at the news desk and away from it.

See also Election Night 2000 and "Courage."

During CBS's live coverage of the tumultuous 1968 Democratic National Convention, Dan Rather saw some men with no identification or badges trying to forcibly remove what appeared to be a Georgia delegate from the building. Rather went over to interview him:
  Watch original footage of Rather being knocked to the ground by security personnel.

"I yelled out, 'This man is a delegate and I have a right to talk to him.' I squeezed inside them, held up the mike and said, 'Sir, stop for a moment and tell me why these men are treating you this way?'

"He had blurted out a sentence or two when a member of the convoy caught me with a punch to the solar plexis. He knew what he was doing, not as a security man but in using his fists. He kept his elbow close to his side and really drove the blow in, off his foot. He lifted me right off the floor and put me away. I was down, the breath knocked out of me, as the whole group blew on by me."
"In the CBS control room, they had switched the camera onto me just as I was slugged."
--Dan Rather in The Camera Never Blinks, 1977.

Taxi Tangle
"A cabby picked up Dan Rather, the CBS correspondent, at Chicago's O'Hare Airport yesterday, and things began to happen. According to a spokesman for the Chicago police, the cab driver refused to go where he was told and instead 'drove wildly through the streets' with Mr. Rather shouting and gesturing for help."
--The New York Times, November 11, 1980.

Random Assaults
"The crowds inevitably gathered. And an order came down from the company commander to 'sweep the street. Move everyone out.' The young guardsmen raised their weapons in the cross-rifle position and marched, shoulder to shoulder, down the street. There was no use waving a press card and saying, 'Hey, I'm a reporter.' As a matter of fact, I did just that, and a guardsman cracked me with his rifle butt, knocking me down. One thing I learned quickly: the worst place to be is on the ground. That is where you get trampled. The guardsman had tried to clip me on the chin, missed, and caught me on the side of the head. He did it viciously."
--Dan Rather in his 1977 book, The Camera Never Blinks.

Ed Joyce, while President of CBS News, was staying at a San Francisco hotel to speak at the annual CBS affiliates meeting. Rather, who was also to speak, was staying at the same hotel. Joyce describes his attempt to call Rather's room:

"There was no answer when I called Dan's room at the Fairmont. As minutes passed I began to worry.

"I walked out to the lobby of the auditorium and began to pace back and forth, keeping a lookout so I could quickly escort him backstage when he arrived.

"Suddenly, an obviously shaken Rather burst through the door. He saw me and rushed over.

"'A man is about to come through that door. Get somebody to keep him away.'

"While I summoned security guards, Rather described what had happened.

"'I've never seen him before. While I was crossing the street I saw him on the sidewalk and I could tell he recognized my face. That happens all the time but, out of the blue, he walked up and knocked me to the ground.'

"Dan said he'd quickly gotten to his feet and rushed into the auditorium.

"The guards were waiting as the man who was following Rather came through the door. He was trim, in his thirties, with neatly cropped hair which showed a noticeable amount of gray. He wore chinos and a Lacoste short-sleeved shirt. The guards quickly hustled him into the arms of a nearby policeman.

"'Dan, you're going to have to decide if you want to press charges,' I said.

"'I'm not likely to do that, 'he said. "It'll be the Chicago cabdriver all over again.'

"A few years earlier he'd gotten into an argument with a Chicago cabbie who claimed Rather refused to pay a $12.50 fare. The cabbie wouldn't let him out of the cab and kept driving. Rather finally opened the window of the speeding taxi and flagged down a police car. The cabbie eventually went to jail, but Rather was pilloried by Chicago columnist Mike Royko, who portrayed him as a big shot stepping all over a little guy."
--Ed Joyce, former President of CBS News, in his 1988 book, Prime Times, Bad Times.

"At Kennedy Airport in New York, once Rather was walking through a crowded area with [Howard] Stringer and Lane Venardos. There was some jostling, and a man suddenly approached him and just knocked him down, flat. 'He's the kind of person things seem to happen to,' said Venardos. 'You think anybody recognizes Tom Brokaw when he walks down the street?'"
--From Peter J. Boyer's 1988 book, Who Killed CBS?.

"I had run into a neighbor, and we stopped on a street corner to chat. Police pursuing a gang of window-smashers loosed tear-gas grenades, and we turned out to be in the path of the invisible gas. The stuff is agonizing; from then on, I could well understand its effectiveness. The neighbor I shared the experience with was CBS White House correspondent Dan Rather."
--Raymond Price, speech writer for Richard Nixon, in With Nixon, 1977.

Guns to the Rescue

"I stepped out of the bedroom on the second floor and shouted into the darkness, 'I don't know who you are or what you want, but if you don't get the hell out of here I'm going to blow your ass off. And if you don't believe me, listen to this.'

"With that I rammed a shell into the chamber of a shotgun. There is no mistaking that sound. Within seconds the intruders, or whatever they were, had fled."
--Dan Rather in his 1977 book, The Camera Never Blinks.

Rather recounts a gun standoff while reporting on the civil rights movement:

"One of the toughs toted a closely sawed-off shotgun. In fact, the gun was sawed off so low there was some question in my mind that if he ever fired it the thing might just explode in his face. He had pointed the shotgun down his pants leg and then he suddenly brought it up against my ribs. He said, 'You take another step, mother-fucker, and I'm going to blow you apart'.... Well, tough talk is cheap, but I knew the man wasn't kidding when I felt the pressure of the sawed-off shotgun.

"All of this happened in seconds. In the next instant, suddenly reaching around from the other side of the camera, there appeared a .38 on a .44 base revolver. One of our crew, the sound man, had jammed the pistol against the redneck's temple.... He said to the man with the shotgun, 'Sonny, I think you want to stroll.'

"Quickly the shotgun dropped to Sonny's side and he backed away. This tough was wide-eyed and scared. He had good reason to be. (I wasn't exactly without concern myself.) The others retreated with him.... I remember the sound man holding the gun steady and saying, as we backed toward the car, 'If you think I'm bluffing, gents, just try me."
--Dan Rather in The Camera Never Blinks, 1977.

Rather and Drugs

"I had someone at the Houston police station shoot me with heroin so I could do a story about it. The experience was a special kind of hell. I came out understanding full well how one could be addicted to 'smack,' and quickly."

"I've tried everything. I can say to you with confidence, I know a fair amount about LSD. I've never been a social user of any of these things, but my curiosity has carried me into a lot of interesting areas."
--Dan Rather in Ladies' Home Journal, July 1980 edition.

"The northwest Indiana city of Portage, population 21,000, has voted to flip the dial on Dan Rather. Its seven City Council members, spurred by efforts to stem the local drug trade, passed a unanimous resolution Tuesday declaring that the Texas newsman -- the designated successor to Walter Cronkite -- should not become the anchor of 'The CBS Evening News' because he has acknowledged experimenting with drugs."

"'We had the biggest drug bust in the state on June 18,' said the resolution's sponsor, Leon West, 'and me and two other Council members were sitting in the police station while they were bringing these offenders in. Well, we got to looking through the newspaper and here's Dan Rather saying it's O.K. to use drugs.'"
--The New York Times, July 4, 1980.

I Don’t Do Interviews

In 1980, Rather and CBS were hauled into court when a California doctor named Carl Galloway claimed that a Rather report on 60 Minutes wrongfully implicated him in an insurance fraud sceme. It got wide publicity while Rather was grilled on television, causing many a headache at CBS. After the trial, Rather kept refusing interview requests from a reporter.

Exasperated that Rather kept ignoring him, the reporter tried to get a surprise interview (à la 60 Minutes) as Rather was entering CBS's studio building. Rather agreed with a smile, "Get the microphone right up, will you?" With the camera rolling, Rather looked him in the eye and said: "Fuck you. You got it?"

The clip was played over and over again on TV and Rather was forced to apologize: "I mistook who you were and what you were doing. That was inexcusable, rude and un-Christian behavior, for which I am remorseful," Rather's statement said.

Either News or Nothing

"No news is usually good news, but on Sept. 11, 1987, no news was a complete fiasco. That was the night Dan Rather stormed off the set of the CBS Evening News when a tennis match threatened to cut into his broadcast. After the final game ended sooner than expected, Rather's tantrum left more than 100 stations scrambling to fill an unprecedented six minutes of dead airtime.

"At 6:32, the Graf-McNeil match ended, but the wandering anchor was nowhere to be found. Affiliates posted 'Please stand by' signs, hustled their own anchors before the cameras, or threw on The Newlywed Game. By the time Rather was retrieved from a nearby office, more than half of the show's average audience had tuned out. (Why was the other half still watching?). [...]

"In the week that followed, Rather was singed by a firestorm of criticism. Anchor emeritus Walter Cronkite told a reporter, 'I would have fired him. There's no excuse for it.' Johnny Carson quipped that the six-minute hole 'turned out to be CBS' highest rating of the year. They just signed the black screen for 13 weeks.'

"'He blew it,' blasted Phil Jones, chairman of the CBS-TV affiliates' advisory board. Today, Jones still scolds Rather. 'There's a reason people are called anchors: They should be anchored and not get up.'

"Chastened, Rather issued a written statement that stopped just short of an apology--which proved enough to save his estimated $2.5 million-a-year job. Even so, to this day, CBS Evening News remains mired in third place. And, in case you were wondering, Graf beat McNeil, 4-6, 6-2, 6-4."
--Bret Watson in Entertainment Weekly, September 9, 1996.

"Watchin' Dan Rather do the news, he looks like he's making a hostage tape. They should have guys in ski masks and AK-47s just standing off to the side..."
--Don Imus, cited in Imus: America's Cowboy, 1999.

"For years [Don Imus] was just -- boy, he was merciless in his criticism of me. Maybe it was justified, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt."
--Dan Rather to Brian Lamb on C-SPAN's Booknotes, January 25, 1999.

Mean Ol' Don

Syndicated radio talk show host Don Imus was the featured speaker at the Radio Television Correspondents Association Annual Dinner:

"Let's start at the bottom with you folks in the media and work our way up. Do you remember the infamous curbside shooting [photograph] from the Vietnam War? Well, I'm watchin' the CBS Evening News with Dan Rather and Connie Chung, and things are not going well, and I'm thinking we're a couple a nights away from another hideous photograph. I mean, everybody knows Dan Rather is capable of anything, including pulling a gun out on the set of the CBS Evening News.

"Dan has these utterly incomprehensible bucolic expressions he punctuates the conversation with. Several times after talking with him, he would say to me 'Tamp 'em up solid.' Having something to do, I later learned, with fortifying underground tunnels his father dug, for reasons that remain unclear. Now I'm hearing impaired a little bit from wearing headphones for a long time. I thought he was saying 'tampons up solid' and I'm, 'Why would he say that?' I mean, I know he's nuts, but what does that mean? Anyway, I'd laugh and I'd say uh huh, and I would hang up. And he's a great reporter, but he does not have all of his bait in the water. And he's a little tense. Watchin' Dan Rather do the news, he looks like he's making a hostage tape. [laughter] They should have guys in ski masks and AK47's just standing off to the side."
--Don Imus at the Radio Television Correspondents Association Annual Dinner, March 21, 1996.

"For years [Don Imus] was just -- boy, he was merciless in his criticism of me. Maybe it was justified, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt."
--Dan Rather to Brian Lamb on C-SPAN's Booknotes, January 25, 1999.

“Gunga Dan”

In 1980, The Soviet Union was trying to maintain a puppet regime in Afghanistan--not much was known about the struggle in the U.S. so Rather decided to visit the mountainous central Asian country, in the middle of a war zone. Washington Post TV critic Tom Shales reported on Rather's trip:
  Watch Rather explain why it's important to be disguised.

"We may never know precisely how dauntless Don Hewitt, producer of 60 Minutes, and daring Dan Rather, crown prince of network news, plotted the slightly sensational Afghanistan war repost seen on CBS last night. But the result was in the best and worst ways typical of the program and its enterprise: punchy, crunchy, highly dramatic and essentially uninformative. [...]

"Except that, yes, we knew something about the war against the invading Soviet troops before 60 Minutes, but, and this is important, did we know how the war was affecting Dan Rather? [...]

"Was it all a story about the war in Afghanistan or a story about the courage and gallantry of someone out of 'Foreign Correspondent' -- Danny Do-Right, ace reporter? Mike Wallace set it up dramatically at the show's opening with '...and up on that ridge, Dan Rather found the war he came to cover.'

"Rather himself tended to emphasize the hardships of the reportage. He made a 'three-hour trek' down the mountain, a 'two-day walk' from one village to another, and as for getting to the ridge, 'the climb was straight up -- 10,000 feet.'

"Rather wore peasant togs that made him like like an extra out of Dr. Zhivago. Vanessa Redgrave wearing the same outfit would have been welcomed at any chic party in Europe. Somehow one got the feeling that this was not so much Dan Rather as Stuart Whitman playing Dan Rather. Or Dan Rather playing Stuart Whitman playing Dan Rather. Perhaps it's all part of the New Reality. [...]

"Repeatedly he portrayed the Afghans as lost, lost unless help arrives soon, perhaps the way it arrived in the form of British cavalry in the movie Gunga Din.

"'It's over in Afghanistan,' Rather said ultra-soberly. 'So you think Afghanistan is gone?' he soon asked an interpreter. 'My friend, let me ask you a direct question -- is Afghanistan lost?' he asked a villager.

"There is certainly nothing unjournalistic about donning a disguise -- although a $50 haircut still looks like a $50 haircut even when mussed up a little -- and using clever ruses to get a story. True, Rather in his white safari suit, trudging through a village, did resemble a soldier of fortune in an Old Spice commercial, but that isn't exactly his fault. [...]

"The war goes on. We know little more about it than we knew before. But at least, thank God, Dan Rather is safe. 'What's that bombing sound in the background?' he asked nervously at one point. 'Nothing to bother us. Don't worry,' the interpreter replied. And it's hard to decide whether Murrow is smiling down approvingly or spinning in his grave."
--Tom Shales in the Washington Post, April 7, 1980.

Rather thought some Soviet soldiers were chasing after him, and took off running:
"We were slipping and sliding, falling and crawling between dashes. We finally began to get the hang of it and were beginning to catch up a little when, wham, I slipped at top speed and hit my groin hard against the dike. I doubled over in pain and thought I might faint. Mirwaz half picked me up, half made me get up. 'Must keep running,' he said with heavy breath. 'Must keep running.'
--Dan Rather in The Camera Never Blinks Twice, 1994.

Dangerous Dan?
Following Dan Rather's Afghanistan adventure, a Soviet-backed Afghan newspaper accused him of murdering three innocent villagers. The ridiculous accusation was relayed in the U.S. by the New York Times which summarized a story carried on the U.S.S.R. news service, Tass. Naturally, Rather denied the allegations but the incident went down as one of the weirdest in television:

"The Soviet press agency Tass reported today that an Afghan newspaper had accused a CBS News correspondent, Dan Rather, of participating in the murder of three villagers while he was in Afghanistan in March.

"According to the official Russian account, the newspaper Hagigate Enquelabe Sowr said: 'It becomes absolutely clear that Rather, the CBS-TV commentator, participated in the bloody murder of three Afghan workers.'

"Tass did not make accusations of its own, but its account seemed to accept the Afghan newspaper's charges at face value. (In New York, Mr. Rather said in a statement made public by his network: 'The story is completely untrue and totally without foundation. It is fantasy from first letter to last, sheer unadulterated nonsense.' Mr. Rather said in a telephone interview that he had seen no incident such as that described by the Afghan paper.)

"According to Tass, the Afghan newspaper reported that two members of a gang called Tor Padsha, apparently fighting Government troops in southern Afghanistan, recently surrendered to the Soviet-backed Afghan authorities.

"'They said that toward the end of last March a group of persons arrived to join their gang from Pakistan,' Tass said. 'The persons wore national Afghan clothes and were equipped with photo and filming equipment. These were American newsmen making a film.'

"'Precisely at that time,' the Tass account said, 'the thugs from the Tor Padsha gang attacked the village of Fatehabad, seizing three workers cleaning an irrigation canal.

"'The workers were taken to the village square and here one of the U.S. newsmen took charge,' Tass said, 'ordering the bandits first to stone the captives and then to cut off their heads. The whole of the bloody sequence was photographed and filmed by the Americans.' Tass went on to say how Mr. Rather had visited Afghan territory near Jalalabad in March and made a film on the anti-Government rebels. Fatehabad is 14 miles from Jalalabad."
--The New York Times in an unsigned story, August 5, 1980.

Frustrated at being last in the ratings, Dan Rather denounced his competitors, saying his "news-lite" rivals "are going softer." Tom Brokaw responded via TV columnist Gail Shister:

"[Tom] Brokaw is seeing Peacock red over recent remarks by CBS anchor Dan Rather that top-rated NBC Nightly News has become feature-driven 'news lite,' and that CBS Evening News is the only Big 3 newscast with traditional hard-news stories.

"'I resent that quite deeply,' says Brokaw, 57, Nightly News anchor since 1983. 'We have done some stories that may not meet Dan's definition of hard news, but they're relevant to people's lives out there.

"'Just because it doesn't happen behind an oaken door of a subcommittee room, or in a foreign capital somewhere, does not mean that it's not hard news. I don't want to pick an argument with Dan, but if anybody looks at the long curve of what we're doing at NBC News, we're doing substantive reporting.'

"Furthermore, 'I think it's inappropriate for our competitors, who have gone through their own incarnations -- including moments like Connie Chung anchoring rinkside at Tonya Harding's rink -- to judge us.'

"If Lord Nielsen is any judge, 'news lite' is No. 1, with a bullet.

"Once a perennial runnerup to Peter Jennings's ABC World News Tonight, NBC Nightly News has won the weekly news race for 10 consecutive weeks (including two ties)--its best showing in more than nine years. CBS Evening News lives in the basement.

"Brokaw insists he doesn't want to judge CBS or go 'mano a mano' with Rather, an ex-Marine [sic]. But this is personal. To wit: Here's Brokaw's take on Rather's penchant for covering hurricanes.

"'Whenever there is the first hint of a counter-clockwise symbol on a weathermap in the fall that a hurricane might hit land, "Mr. Hard News" is down there wrapped around a lamp-post somewhere.'

"The fact is, Brokaw says, 'we're all covering the same stuff. We're doing it in different styles. The differences are on the margins. Hard news is in the eye of the beholder. Dan's definition of hard news and mine may differ from time to time. But if you look at our lineups, day in and day out, you'll find hard news even in the so-called "lite" material.'"
--The Philadelphia Inquirer, March 6, 1997.

Female Troubles
"We had just said hello when the others fluttered over, and it got into one of those hugging and kissing things. I tried to bow out but Barbara [Walters] drew me into the circle in an effort to be courteous.
   "She said, 'Let me present my colleague from CBS, Dan Rather. As a matter of fact, I was just saying hello to him.' And she leaned over to give me a kiss. Now, understand, that was her way of putting me at ease. She had kissed everyone else, and she saw me shying away and wanted to be nice.
   "As we bent our heads together my microphone hit her in the mouth.
   "I wince even now when I think about it. Barbara had been smart and experienced enough to turn toward me with the cheek that was uncovered. But of course klutzy ol' Rather turned the side that had all the mechanical gear.There was an audible clank as my mike struck her teeth."
--Dan Rather in The Camera Never Blinks, 1977.

LESLEY STAHL: [W]omen began to be hired, and everybody said, "Well, they're only hiring good-looking women." Now you look at the men, and they're better looking than the women.
O'REILLY: Dan?
STAHL: Dan is a handsome, handsome man.
--Lesley Stahl of CBS and Bill O'Reilly on FOX News Channel's O'Reilly Factor, January 25, 2000.

"Dan's a girl...Dan has the enthusiasm of a girl. There's a girl's soul lurking in him."
--CBS News campaign producer Susan Zirinsky in the March 23, 1996 TV Guide.

Connie Chung described how Walter Cronkite congratulated her for being named Dan Rather's co-anchor in 1993:
"Walter sang me a little sea chantey. The verse ended, 'Just watch your back with Dan, dear, just watch your back with Dan.'"
--Connie Chung, quoted in MediaWeek, April 26, 1997.

"Nixon headed for his panzer-limousine and the press headed for the buses, with the women in curlers screaming 'Dan, Dan!' at Dan Rather, who acknowledged the screams with a curt nod and little shooting motion of the index finger, reminiscent of Elvis Presley."
--Timothy Crouse in his 1974 book, The Boys on the Bus.

"Soon after beginning television assignments, Rather uncovered a new, unexpected problem. Makeup. Sometimes a television correspondent like Rather had to apply his own makeup without the luxury of relying on a makeup person in the studio. That meant the correspondent would have to carry his own compact. Once in 1962, Rather boarded a flight from Memphis to Birmingham and placing his coat on the overhead rack found himself in great embarrassment when the compact fell out and landed on the floor in the aisle. A stewardess quickly retrieved it and asked to whom did the compact belong. Rather gave her a stare as if to say what would he be doing with a thing like that? She looked around at the other (female) passengers but no one spoke up. Rather was panicky for the rest of the flight. He realized that he had to do a piece almost as soon as he landed and he needed the makeup. But there was no way he was going to ask the stewardess for his compact back. So he walked off the plane, and did the piece without the makeup."
--Robert Slater in This...is CBS: A Chronicle of 60 Years, 1988.

What’s the Frequency?

"Rather was confronted about 11 p.m. while walking on Park Avenue. When he tried to walk away, he was punched from behind and knocked to the ground. The attacker then chased Rather into a building and kicked him several times in the back. [...]

Dan Rather singing backup with R.E.M. on the Late Show with David Letterman. Listen to the song's first minute in MP3 (305K) or Next/Sun .au (244K).

"The mystery may be solved: Dan Rather has identified the man he says beat him up on the street in 1986 while demanding to know 'Kenneth, what is the frequency?' The CBS anchorman said his assailant was William Tager, now in prison for killing an NBC stagehand outside the Today show in 1994. Tager was convinced the media had him under surveillance and were beaming hostile messages to him, and he demanded that Rather tell him the frequency being used, according to a forensic psychiatrist who examined Tager after the NBC shooting. Rather was told by the psychiatrist, Dr. Park Dietz, that Tager was almost certainly his attacker. The anchorman identified Tager from pictures supplied by the New York Daily News. 'There's no doubt in my mind that this is the person,' Rather said."
--January 1997, Associated Press.

Other Celebs on Rather
"Dan Rather is Geraldo's favorite newsman, despite being, 'as kinky as he is and as weird as he is.'"
--MrShowbiz.com quoting Geraldo Rivera in the October 1998 issue of Playboy.

"I've got a sneaky admiration for Dan Rather because I'm never sure when he's going to go bonkers on you. He always looks like he's gonna just stop and say, 'All right, motherfuckers, here it comes. We've got the bodies in hangar 18, the government has been lying to you....' And then they're going to drag him off."
--Steven King, quoted in the 1990 book, Anchors: Brokaw, Jennings, Rather and the Evening News by Robert Goldberg and Gerald Goldberg.

"One of the nicest things about NBC is that Tom Brokaw is not Dan Rather."
--Michael Gartner, president of NBC, at his first press conference. August 8, 1988.

"We just aren't especially chummy."
--Walter Cronkite on Rather, in the San Diego Union-Tribune, October 23, 1990.

Larry King played a clip of some of Dan Rather's weird statements on Election Night 2000:
"Hey, Dan, is that Texasisms? You sound like sort of the newsman's Ross Perot."
--Larry King on Larry King Live, January 10, 2001.

Dan Rather Superstar

As you've seen above, Dan Rather's penchant for strange metaphors is well-known within media circles. But it's also become a part of American pop culture. This was made official when Rather became a recording artist, though not of his own doing. In fact, CBS is still quite upset that Dan is the only American television anchor to be a featured musician.

It all started back in the late nineties as many people in rock and techno music circles began creating experimental music created from spliced words and music. The songs were often designed to be humorous but also to drive home a message about the pervasive influence of media on people's lives.

A band calling itself the Evolution Control Committee released a montage of Dan Rather soundbites gleaned from his newscasts, spliced together to form sentences even odder than the ones the CBS anchor is known for. Entitled "Rocked by Rape" (after one of the phrases uttered by Rather), the song also featured the theme music of the CBS Evening News and a background track from the rock band AC/DC.

Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, particularly in television, but CBS was anything but pleased. Shortly after the song's release in late 1999, a lawyer for the network contacted the band's distributor warning it to "immediately remove the Materials and any related material from distribution and display" or face legal action for stealing the theme song and Dan Rather's voice.

The band refused, saying that "Rocked by Rape" was "very obviously a [constitutionally protected] parody of Dan Rather" that was also a commentary on the anchor's tendency to dwell on negative news:

"As we watched Rather convey the news each night, we were struck at the brutal violence that was delivered, day in, day out. Unfailingly, the good news always appeared as the very last segment of each broadcast. You may call it dessert, but we call it empty calories -- a meaningless gesture; an insincere smile to follow 25 minutes of carnage. How can we sit idly by, watching that insincere smile on Dan Rather's face? When you offer a daily parade like that, you must expect that some people will wonder just what the emperor is wearing."

Soon, other media organizations began taking note of the brouhaha. Wired magazine ran an article on the controversy as did several music industry publications. National Public Radio even played the song for its listeners.

So how did Dan take all this himself? We can't really say since no one has asked him about the song on the record. But ECC figures he's had to have heard it at least once at a dinner where he was roasted. Our guess is that Rather was better able to take the joke than his lawyers were. After all the bad publicity, CBS appears to have dropped plans for a lawsuit, although the band says it's still in legal limbo.

Weird Statements

"Rather was not a natural performer, or at least he was not a naturally good performer. He had to work at smiling, for example; it was not his natural expression. He knew that he came across as a bit harsh, a little 'intense,' as people were always telling him, and over the years he worked on developing an on-air persona that had a touch of warmth and humor. Rather was not a graceful writer, like Sevareid, or Collingwood or Safer, but he came to be known for his colorful Texanisms. [...]
"Such embellishments were meant to seem to viewers like a natural flair for colorful talk, but even they were taken by some as a sign of Rather's phoniness. Many of Rather's 'spontaneous' sayings were, in fact, written out beforehand, and some of them weren't even written by Rather, but by his writers."
--Peter J. Boyer, former television correspondent for The New York Times, in Who Killed CBS?, 1988.

See also Election Night 2000.

Watch Dan Rather explain how he comes up with his "Texanisms." Choose either Windows Media (322KB) or RealVideo (301KB).

"The reelection of Bill Clinton is as secure as a double-knot tied in wet rawhide."
--Dan Rather on Election Night, 1996.

"This race between Dick Swett and Bob Smith is hot and tight as a too-small bathing suit on a too-long car ride back from the beach."
--Election Night 1996

"And it's been 46 years since the moon was full for trick-or-treaters and other things that go bump in the night, as it is this Halloween. And it won't occur again for another 20 years. You could say it happens only once in a 'boo' moon."
--Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News, October 31, 2001.

"We may see Michael Jackson's baby before we know the final outcome of this race for the House of Representatives tonight."
--Election Night 1996

"These races are tick-tight."
--Election Night 1996

"Are the Democrats going to dance the mandate macarena?"
--Election Night 1996

"They say California's the big burrito; Texas is a big taco right now. We want to follow that through. Florida is a big tamale."
--Election Night 1996

"Texas: 32 electoral votes, another of the so-called big enchiladas or if not an enchilada at least a huge taco."
--Election Night 1996

"Folks, let me point out something to you, because for a lot of people in Washington, they could not be more surprised if Fidel Castro came loping through on the back of a hippopotamus."
--Dan Rather on Election Night, 1998.

Dan Rather appeared on CBS This Morning to promote a book:
RUSS MITCHELL: We've got about 45 seconds left. I want to talk about some of the Ratherisms that you'll find in this book. "If a frog had pockets, he'd carry a handgun." On a CBS colleague, "He's the kind of guy who would fight a rattlesnake and give the snake a two-bite head start." I'm not gonna ask who you're talking about there. It's been hot in New York City. Any Ratherisms for us this morning?
DAN RATHER: Well, let's try to think of some. One, hotter than a Cadillac's bumper in July. Hotter than a freshly forged horseshoe. Hotter than a Laredo parking lot. I mean, how far should we do with this?
--Dan Rather and Russ Mitcchell on CBS This Morning, June 9, 1999.

"The Michigan Republican primary apparently is tighter than Willie Nelson's headband."
--Dan Rather on CBS Evening News, February 22, 2000.

"...but that's not going to happen. You can sooner expect a tall talking broccoli stick to offer to mow your lawn for free."
--Dan Rather, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, March 28, 1996.

"They may have turned this up, whether you had the Paula Jones case or not. But again maybe not, but againthat's like if a frog had side pockets he'd probably wear a handgun."
--Dan Rather on The Late Show with David Letterman, February 5, 1998.

"There's more tonight on the CBS spy recently expelled from the United States when he was caught listening to bugged conversations deep inside the State Department."
--Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News, February 2, 2000.

Dan Rather did a story on the Oxford English Dictionary's adding 200 more words:
"It's a work in progress, undergoing a major revision, beginning, for reasons that would take too many words to explain, with the 'M's. Two-hundred new words have been added, including magstripe..., mack, a smooth, seductive talker -- beats me, but that's what the dictionary says -- and marginnis, an Australian wrestling hold.... Part of our words tonight. Scrabble anyone?"
--Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News, March 14, 2000.

Discussing the controversy in Florida following the 2000 election with state senator Daniel Webster (R-12), Dan Rather relayed the concerns of some Democrats about the process being unfair:
"Let me come to a point that I have heard some people express, by no means a majority of people I've talked to. Some say, 'Listen, Danny, is the'--quote, 'Is the fix in in Florida?'"
--Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News, November 28, 2000.

"'I know a lot of people think I've got the CBS eye tattoed on my ass,' Dan Rather says, conceding his public image as a tough, hard-charging telejournalist."
--Dan Rather, quoted in Edwin Diamond's 1991 book, The Media Show.

CBS Reporter Thalia Assuras had just finished a story on Americans' lack of sleep:
"And, yawn, that's part of our world tonight."
--Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News, March 27, 2001.

Bob Schieffer was stationed outside the U.S. Supreme Court during the first hearing about the Florida election; Rather heard some shouting in the background and wanted to know what was going on:
"And Bob Schieffer, as Butch Cassidy said to the Sundance Kid, 'Who are these guys?' Who are these people there who are demonstrating behind you? Do you have any idea?"
--Dan Rather in a CBS News Special Report, December 1, 2000.

Larry King asked Dan Rather if he was concerned about the Internet:
"No. I think it's a great new addition. I don't think it's going to replace radio, television or newspapers, but it will increase the flow of information.... I'm so excited about it I have a 3,000-calorie attack about every half hour thinking about its potential."
--Dan Rather on Larry King Live, April 19, 2000.

"I got addicted. News, particularly daily news, is more addictive than crack cocaine, more addictive than heroin, more addictive than cigarettes."
--Dan Rather in Brill's Content, October 1998.

Dan Rather spoke to college students at Boston University who were considering reporting careers:
"Be careful. Journalism is more addictive than crack cocaine. Your life can get out of balance."
--Quoted in the Boston Herald, October 22, 2000.

The CBS Evening News did a story on an expensive $60 bowl of truffle soup:
"Doesn't matter, I like chili better, anyway."
--Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News, November 23, 1999.

Richard Schlessinger had just done a story about the great benefits and services one company was giving to its employees:
"That's part of our world tonight. I'll be down at the office vending machine picking up dinner and then back for the late shift on 48 Hours."
--Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News, February 8, 2001.

"Those of you watching and listening, get a cup of coffee or a spot of tea and join us back here in just a few moments."
--Dan Rather during live 1990 Election Night coverage, November 6, 1990.

"If you liked this broadcast, we hope you'll watch it again tomorrow night and maybe tell your neighbors about it."
--Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News, November 29, 1999.

"Show me the money."
--Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News, April 16, 2000.

"That's all, folks."
--Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News, December 11, 1999.

"Well, you know the old saying, 'cold talons, warm heart.'"
--Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News, April 21, 2000.

Clint Eastwood appeared in Congress saying that small businesses need more time to comply with the Americans With Disabilities Act:
"A man who made a name for himself pretending to punch out opponents taking on the disabled. What is this about? Let's get the Real Deal from CBS's Bob Schieffer. Go ahead, Bob, make my day!"
--Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News, May 18, 2000. print_file('footer'); ?>